light is a gift & a mercy

At a point in my life where I was feeling extremely low, I would sometimes go to the nearby masjid just to feel some sort of peace. I would go alone and attempt to avoid any interactions. I would try my best to slow down the negative thoughts that ran through my head. Doing this every so often would be the bit of comfort that I needed to urge me to continue on.

On one of the days I was there, a sister who I met for the first time greeted me with the warmest of smiles. She mentioned that I didn’t look at ease, and without further questioning me, she began chatting with me as though we were long-time friends.

Every word she spoke, and every story she shared with me instantly tugged at my heart. I couldn’t stop myself and ended up uncontrollably tearing up like a baby. It was as though my heart found her familiar, and finally opened up after so long.

This embarrassing moment of crying into a stranger’s arms and “randomly” bumping into her on various occasions after that (it was always whenever my heart needed it), was a constant reaffirmation to myself: that people truly cross your path for a reason, and you are sometimes given reminders at moments when you may either be looking for them or not – but in hindsight, when you need them most. And this is one of the biggest mercies.

When my sight becomes a bit foggy and someone with a light like her’s helps me to see His Light a little clearer, this is without a doubt a gift that I am a million times grateful for.

May we all become reflections of His Light for those around us, even for strangers we may speak to only briefly.

God shows His love and presence through His signs.

routine

she lay in bed and sighed,
“i need to get better.”
a list of things that needed to be done dragged on in her mind.
she tried her best to focus,
but instead pushed everything out of her thoughts.
it was easier.
she shut her eyes tightly and silently urged her body up.
again and again
and again.
nothing.
tears welled up in her eyes and hit the sheets. she broke.
a mountain of sadness loomed over her,
breathing suddenly became too difficult.
pieces of herself shattered and fell one by one.
she swallowed hard, trying to keep herself together.
the feeling of life felt faint.

emptiness presented itself as a permanent home,
and welcomed her in.
too often.
though it was cold,
the familiarity comforted her.
she lay there.