heart of a warrior

It doesn’t seem very real
until seeing someone
a person who I hold
dearly to my heart
a person who has
fought my fights and patched up
my four year old dresses

and when life gets its way
trying with all my might
to attack the stings
of built up emotion
she holds me tight
embracing me in her warmth
and softly caresses
the pinks of my cheeks
wiping the army of tears
that spill mercilessly
easily clearing the pathway to victory
and tells me over and over again
“waan ku jecelahay” – “I love you”

seeing that beautiful,
powerful, amazing woman
who grew up with nothing
was gifted with everything
only to lose what
she has worked so hard for

the proof in her calloused,
rough hands
her face, lines carved into
the corners of her eyes and mouth
her once imprinted smile
admired by many
hated by some, faded
replaced with regret
replaced with sadness
replaced with everything
she didn’t deserve

but no matter how dark it may seem
the sleepless nights you go through
the nightmares itching themselves
into your slumber
the loneliness you feel
the nagging, self-destroying thoughts
eating at your mind
don’t

I know you have scars
that keep you reminiscing
about days when
loud voices would echo the walls
the stories you tell me where
you slept on cold, hard floors
bruises that remind you
of the evil in people
misplaced trust and misconstrued words
aimed at no one in particular
—in particular they were aimed at love
and destroyed your very being

nights where you would cry
until your eyes swelled shut
stress making itself home
on your shoulders
adding on to the burden you have to carry
making it heavier
than it already is

yet your love
has been unconditional
never unlearned
just sometimes misunderstood

I don’t know what gave you
the strength to keep going
you separated yourself
from things that didn’t fit
your course of living,
you opened your heart to now

you might’ve been broken
even shattered before
but now there’s only a small tear

sometimes it hurts you—yes
seemingly you feel that
your heart cannot bear the pain
it dares to fall out
and shatter once again
into a million pieces

but I’m here, we’re here
and that is the greatest blessing of all
no matter how many more heartbreaks
you’ve gone through
there are probably more
waiting at your door

you’ve taught me that
you come to realize
along the way
past the pain
that life is great
and love is not so bad

This is my first completed poem that I’ve written. It’s a little emotional and is probably all over the place, I’ll admit. Originally it was meant to be performed as a spoken word piece but something came up (I want to promise that it wasn’t stage fright—though I’d be lying).